"They're all out of step except my Johnny!"

That was the punchline to one of my grandmother's favourite jokes about an over-proud mother watching her son marching in the parade. I sometimes wonder what she would have made of T.K..

He came home with an assignment a few months ago, for science -- his favourite subject. The kids were to design and build a car (Lego was an allowed building material) which would be put on an inclined plane. The performance of the car would be tested with various materials added to the inclined plane, such as sand or oil.

T.K., owner of a very large bin full of Lego, was bursting with plans. He would add treads to his car. He would add a motor. He would add... "But T.K.," I said. "I think the idea is that the car will coast down the inclined plane, so it won't need a motor."

T.K. didn't miss a beat. "It doesn't say anywhere on there whether it has to go up or down." Blinking, I reviewed the form. Sonofagun, the kid was right.

"Sorry kiddo, but I still think we need to go back to the teacher on this one."

Mrs. E. was adamant. "The curriculum says it has to go DOWN the inclined plane." End of story. This seemed a bit of a waste of time to me, given that the kid is already pretty clear on the fact that gravity works, and that there would be nineteen other cars going DOWN, but that was the ruling. She grudgingly allowed that perhaps he could do an extra, bonus car that could go UP if they had the time, but the air was already out of T.K.'s metaphorical tires. He assembled a car in two minutes, took it to class, and it went DOWN. With all the others.

Later, I happened to relate the incident to T.K.'s grandfather, a highly intelligent man who also didn't have the most harmonious relationship with the elementary school system. A mischievous glitter came into his eye.

"If it's going DOWN, then it's not an inclined plane," he pointed out. "It's a DECLINED plane. T.K. was right. If it's an INCLINED plane, then the cars have to go UP, not down."

Well, I'll be.

They really ARE all out of step except my Johnny.